There are many days when I am lonely. I could be in a room full of people and hear nothing but stillness. Utterly boring and uneventful. That is how some of my days feel and pass and fade into the past. We were not made to live and let die, but somehow I can’t find a way to make myself let live and die. People say when you fall in love you are the happiest. I disagree. When he is not around I am even more lonely. From the moment I have to say goodbye he becomes a song that repeats itself in my mind. I hear his laugh, his voice, his heartbeat, his soul. Upon reencounter the melody changes itself slightly and then I have to let him go again. Sometimes I’m so afraid to have him around that I push him away. Other times when he does not lie next to me I punish him for it. Opposites fascinate me. Most likely because I am one. Or I am not. But whichever it may be, I am lonely. I admire the sound of silence and wish I could be a breeze. I would have nature at my feet and make it dance to my rhythm. Rain would fall just slightly slower and erratically. I hate patterns. I find them everywhere and they are quite frankly rather dull. Why would anyone wish to see the same thing repeat itself in 10 different ways in one simple text and call it complicated and intelligent. No. it is stupid and pointless. Exercise of the mind of the weak and uneventful for the mind of the strong. No. I want to be like the wind on a shore of a deserted beach. Play with grains and throw them into the mercy of the ocean as I please. Scare off a few unwanted visitors, but never enough to not have them return because everyone craves attention and hates being alone. Live like the wind..free , die like the wind.. never.
credits for the picture: not mine